Meet Jamie, father to 2-year-old, and member of our fantastic Parent Panel; a diverse community of Bright Horizons parents sharing their experiences of raising happy, thriving and confident children.
I am the Vice Principal of a large secondary school. I love what I do. However, it consumes me—my time and energy—every day I step through the school’s threshold. Before having a child, this wasn’t a huge issue; I could put in a few extra hours during the week (and on weekends) while still finding time for my loved ones and friends. However, once a child arrives, everything changes. Suddenly, I am filled with the overwhelming thought that I have two significant jobs, yet I am not doing either of them particularly well!
This is a hard pill to swallow, especially for someone who likes to feel successful in all areas of life. However, throughout this journey of parenthood, I have learned some key skills that help me manage both home and work.
Prioritise your time and always determine what is best for your family. You will always feel some guilt; however, whenever possible, it shouldn’t be due to missed time with your family. Family should come first.
You must become comfortable saying no, especially at work. Unless it’s life-threatening (which it rarely is!), that email, task, or meeting can wait. You can only do so much—go home or log off!
Not only is it okay to say no at work, but it’s also okay to say no outside of work. You don’t have to attend every birthday party or every play date. Family time at home is just as beneficial for your child’s development as going places and experiencing new things.
Guilt is an emotion felt by those who care. If you’re feeling guilty, it means you care about what you do. This is something you will undoubtedly experience throughout your parenting journey, and that’s okay. Guilt is normal. You need to accept that your work standards may temporarily dip as you adjust to your new reality, and that’s perfectly fine. What is most important is that you are present wherever you are, be it home or family, and are doing your best.
We are all guilty of making sacrifices as a parent; however, you should always look after yourself. Participate in regular exercise, eat well, and aim to get enough sleep. Becoming a parent is a significant adjustment, so give yourself time to adapt and accept that sometimes, your life might not be exactly as it was before you became a parent. While it’s great to never lower your expectations of yourself, be realistic about what you can accomplish in 24 hours!