Wellbeing Guide: Blog 2 - The Power of Positive Language

Childhood is a precious time where the foundations for your child’s learning are laid and important discoveries about themselves and the world around them are made.

That’s why at Bright Horizons, we practise The Nurture Approach; a blend of our research-based holistic learning, alongside our support for children’s emotional wellbeing, all lovingly delivered by the expertise of our dedicated practitioners. And, because we know wellbeing is so important for young children, Our Early Childhood Experts have created a series of Wellbeing Guides just for you. Through these guides, you’ll not only gain a deeper understanding of early childhood development, but benefit from expert advice on raising a happy, confident, and emotionally resilient child!

In this blog, our experts shed light on the importance of positive language, how it benefits young children, and how you as a parent can practise (and teach) this communication with your child…

What is Positive Language?

Positive language in early childhood development refers to the intentional use of words and phrases that promote a child's self-esteem, encourage good behaviour, and help them build a positive self-concept. It involves focusing on what children can do, rather than what they shouldn't do, and guiding their actions with encouraging, supportive language. This approach creates a nurturing environment that helps children feel safe, valued, and motivated to learn and grow.

Key aspects of using positive language include:

1. Encouragement over criticism: Instead of pointing out mistakes or what your child has done wrong, positive language emphasises what your child is doing well. For example, saying “You are doing a great job trying to tie your shoes!” rather than “You’re doing it wrong.”
2. Clear and positive instructions: Framing instructions in a positive way tells your child what they should do. For example, instead of saying “Don’t run,” you might say “Please walk inside.”
3. Focusing on efforts, not just outcomes: Praising effort helps build your child’s resilience and willingness to try new things. For example, saying, “I can see you worked really hard on that puzzle” focuses on your child’s process, not just the result.
4. Validating emotions: Positive language acknowledges your child’s feelings, showing empathy and respect for their emotional experiences. For example, saying, “I understand you feel frustrated because your toy isn’t working” helps the child feel heard and understood.
5. Modelling positive communication: Children learn by example, so using polite, respectful language teaches them how to communicate in a positive way. Phrases like “please,” “thank you,” and “I appreciate your help” model considerate interaction.

Below are some benefits of positive language:

• Builds self-confidence and a positive self-image
• Enhances communication skills and emotional regulation
• Promotes cooperative behaviour and reduces conflicts
• Strengthens the relationship between children and caregivers or educators

"Use positive language to help children understand expectations and boundaries, including the reasons" - Emotional Wellbeing and Positive Behaviour Policy and Procedure

By using positive language, you’ll create a supportive environment where your child feels capable, respected, and encouraged to explore their abilities.

Positive language also helps children understand expectations and boundaries in a supportive and nurturing way.

Encouraging Self-Regulation

One of the key benefits of positive language is that it encourages children to self-regulate their own behaviour. So, rather than controlling their actions through rewards and consequences, positive language will support your child in learning to do the right thing, understanding the consequences of their actions, and being kind to others.

Practical Tips for Using Positive Language

Avoid Negative or Authoritarian Language: Using positive language instead of negative or authoritarian language promotes positive behaviour. It helps children feel equal and part of a respectful, two-way relationship with their caregivers, rather than feeling controlled and constantly told “No!”

Empowerment and Independence: When children make mistakes or display behaviour that challenges, using positive language can help prevent this the future. It empowers children to believe in themselves and their choices, fostering independence and self-confidence.

Long-Term Benefits: The respect children experience during childhood translates into thoughtful, tolerant, and compassionate adults.

Examples of Positive Language

• “We use our quieter voices inside so everyone can hear each other.”
• “We put the toys into the boxes carefully so they don’t get broken.”
• “When we read the story together, please use your gentle hands to help me turn the pages so that the pages don’t tear.”
• “I understand you’re feeling angry, and it’s not OK to hit your friend because it hurts them.”
• “We use our walking feet inside, but we can use our running feet outside because there is more space.”

3 Top Tips for Parents and Caregivers

• Think Before You Speak: Choose your words carefully, ensuring you are kind and explain why you are making the request or statement.
• Control Your Tone of Voice: Use a gentle and prosodic (sing-songy) tone rather than a harsh and low-toned one.
• Maintain a Calm Facial Expression: A relaxed and calm face is an important safety signal for children.