Wellbeing Guide: Blog 3 – Name It to Tame It

Childhood is a precious time where the foundations for your child’s learning are laid and important discoveries about themselves and the world around them are made.

That’s why at Bright Horizons, we practise The Nurture Approach; a blend of our research-based holistic learning, alongside our support for children’s emotional wellbeing, all lovingly delivered by the expertise of our dedicated practitioners. And, because we know wellbeing is so important for young children, Our Early Childhood Experts have created a series of Wellbeing Guides just for you. Through these guides, you’ll not only gain a deeper understanding of early childhood development, but benefit from expert advice on raising a happy, confident, and emotionally resilient child!

In this guide, our experts shed light on the importance of the ‘Name it to tame it’ technique, and how you as a parent can teach your child this valuable skill…

What is ‘Name It to Tame It’?

Name it to tame it is a powerful technique that helps children manage their emotions by identifying and naming them. Because young children often lack the vocabulary to express their feelings verbally, they communicate through their behaviour. But by teaching children to name their emotions, you can provide them with the tools to articulate what they are experiencing. This process of naming emotions can help children to better understand and make sense of their feelings.

Benefits of Using ‘Name It to Tame It’

• Identifying emotions provides children with the language to express their feelings: As children learn to label their emotions, they gain the vocabulary needed to articulate their feelings. This then helps them communicate more effectively with others, reducing frustration and misunderstandings.
• Helps your child how to respond to others’ emotions: By learning to identify their own emotions, children can become better at recognising similar feelings in others. As a result, their emotional intelligence improves, enabling them to navigate social interactions more effectively.
• Your child feels acknowledged, understood, respected, and calm: When you recognise and validate your child’s emotions, they feel seen and heard. This acknowledgment is crucial for their emotional wellbeing. Having this sense of being valued, can strengthen their self-esteem and emotional resilience.
• Supports children to find solutions: Once we identify a specific emotion, it’s easier to understand where it’s come from. This understanding then allows you to engage in problem-solving with your child. By working together, you can guide them towards appropriate coping strategies, helping them manage their emotions effectively.

How Parents Can Help

• Use feelings words to describe what children might be experiencing as often as possible.
• Regard children’s behaviour and actions as a method of communication and seek to understand what they are trying to communicate by offering reassurance and safety, through co-regulation and connection.
• Help children to tell their stories until they can do it for themselves. e.g. “Oh dear you’ve fallen and scraped your knee. I expect that scared you. Let’s get it cleaned up together.”
• Empathise and validate your child’s feeling. e.g. “You are so excited. I get excited too when I’m looking forward to something.”

Here are some more emotions you can help your child to understand through storytelling and validation:

Emotion: Anger

Purpose of the Emotion: To fight against problem

What You Can Say: “I can see you're angry because you wanted the red car.”

Emotion: Joy

Purpose of the Emotion: To remind us of what's important.

What You Can Say: “Playing outside in water makes you feel happy.”

Emotion: Trust

Purpose of the Emotion: To connect with people who help.

What You Can Say: “A hug always makes you feel better.”

Emotion: Fear

Purpose of the Emotion: To protect us from danger.

What You Can Say: “That loud bang scared you.”

Emotion: Surprise

Purpose of the Emotion: To focus us on new situations.

What You Can Say: “You were surprised when Nanny picked you up today.”

Emotion: Sadness

Purpose of the Emotion: To connect us with those we love.

What You Can Say: “You are feeling sad today because your friend isn't here.”

Emotion: Disgust

Purpose of the Emotion: To reject what is unhealthy.

What You Can Say: “Oh yuk! That tasted horrible!”

Remember that children will not have the ability to self-regulate until they are at least 3 years old.